Its not only about working out…
At 38 years old I have always struggled…like most women..to accept my body for what it is. There always seemed to be an area that I wasnt happy with. My butt never did look like the perfect butt..you know the kind that would look good in a thong. Well, that was never me. Then after children it was my boobs..or should I say my mothers boobs! Somehow unlike a lot of women I went from small to HUGE. I honestly didnt even know how to dress my new boobs. From there it went to the fat roll on my back and so on and so on.
After completing Fit Camp and losing 42 pounds. My boobs were back to normal, the fat rolls on my back were gone…my butt…well, I think that will always be what it is… I still had to overcome my personal body image. After all; my goal in completing this fitness program was to be happy with the body I ended up with.
Today was a big step for me. It was the first day I had been alone since the separation from my husband. The girls were with their dad, my mom had gone back home and it was just me. At first I was a little scared. What do I do now? Who can I call? Where can I go to be around people so that I dont have to face this reality of just being with myself? I quickly put on a bikini ( it was one I had bought years back in hopes of getting a tan in the backyard) Grabbed a towel and some suntan lotion and went to the beach. I had NEVER gone to the beach alone..no one to talk to..just me and my bikini.
On the drive there I cried realizing that at 38 I had no one I could call to spend the day with. But I had so many friends…or did I??? Today it would just have to be me. I have known for a while I needed Self Time, but this was not what I thought Self Time was really about.
I sat on the beach almost desperate to find someone close that I could strike up a conversation with. The woman next to me looked nice..she was alone too. I made a remark about what a nice day it was to be at the beach, hoping that she could become my friend for the day and put me back into my comfort zone of not being alone. She replied..but I couldnt understand a word of what she said..i then realized that she was telling me she couldnt speak english! So there I sat on my towel…alone again.
Sitting and doing nothing doesnt really fall into my life. I am always on the move..always trying to get something done and thinking about what to do next. I really wanted to go for a run, but I was in this bikini…alone..and in front of hundreds of other people. After about an hour I decided that I needed to run..needed to run for myself..needed to run and not feel like the imperfections of my body should keep me from doing so.
The Run; I did it. I ran all the way down the beach and back..about 3 miles total without stopping. I didnt look at a single person. I just kept thinking that this was for me and no one else. I thought about my own courage and my own strength..I also though about all of the women that come to my fitness studio that have the same feeling about walking through the door for the first time. I know that to them this is no different from my run down the beach.
The fact is that we can all run down the beach…we can all walk through the door and we can all find the courage and strength from within. It just takes the first step..then the second and then the third. I truly believe that all women have what I call their core strength. We just need to find it.
Six months ago I was the same person I am now. I was just covered in a blanket of extra weight, a marriage that felt like I held on my shoulders, guilt of not being better mom, better friend, better daughter. All of these things covered me to the point of total suffocation. Going through the 8 weeks of Fit Camp didnt just help me to shed the pounds..it let me breathe..it let me be alone with myself…it let me run!
My hope is for all women to find their strength; physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally. I hope that through Self Time Fitness women can gain the empowerment they need to be ok with who they are and take their run down the beach.
Brandy
I totally cried my eyes out reading this!! I am so proud of you and so blessed to be able to call you friend.
((HUGS))
Katie
wuwuwomen
November 2, 2009
[...] Links WordPress.com WordPress.org A WuWu Woman’s Personal Victory November 2, 2009, 3:00 pm Filed under: WuWu Woman Personal Victory! | Tags: Brandy Jimenez, Self-Time Fitness, WuWu Woman, WuWu Woman Personal Victory! Brandy Jimenez, owner of Self-Time Fitness and Featured WuWu WomanBust out a box of tissues and prepared to be inspired if you read this story!! Early this morning, WuWu Woman and entrepreneur Brandy Jimenez called to share a momentous occasion in here life. Brandy has only been separated from her husband for a month and has already started her own business, “Self-Time Fitness,” moved with her girls to a new home, and hit a major life milestone that she shares on her blog: Selftimefitness.wordpress.com . [...]
A WuWu Woman’s Personal Victory « WuWu Women
November 2, 2009
Brandy I am so proud of you….you are an accomplisher!! We all need our run down the beach and your inspiring words will help so many start! Thank you for your courage and you are in my thoughts….
Deidra Cockerham
November 2, 2009
Great article. You should be a inspiration to so many ,that everyone owns their own happiness,we can’t get that from others until we give it to ourself. Never doubt the friend you have in me, your just on the wrong coast…lol
Namaste
Jeff
November 2, 2009
Powerful and emotional. Obstacles show us that we indeed have the courage and talents to prevail. And that there is always something better – if we have the nerve, the courage and the positive self-talk to start. The run starts with one step, then another. Great analogy for life.
There is a great African proverb that goes like this:
Every morning, a gazelle wakes and knows it must run in order not to be eaten by the Lion. Every morning the lion wakes and knows it must run in order to catch its prey and eat. Regardless if you are a lion or a gazelle, each morning when you rise, you must be ready to run.
And the run starts with one step, then another. And soon you get your groove. And you did! Congratulations. Keep up the courage to face each new situation with a positive outlook. The universe is focused on good – and that each situation has good in it – it is up to each of us to find the good. And you did. Thanks for the inspiration. You are amazing.
Jay Forte
November 2, 2009
i can identify with this feeling of being alone…with a life so full, working mom of 2 kids, always on the go…never any time for me, and when there is i sometimes find myself faced with just me. No what do I do?
And it is hard to function without a direction, a must do, and I don’t find myself feeling comfortable with me.
I can identify with your run…you were able to experience yourself and let go of other things,,,just being alone taking that risk, how admirable! keep running for you!
Jennie Driscoll
November 3, 2009
I love you Brandy and you will never be alone! You are the most selfless women I know. You have always accomplished what you set your mind to and I am so proud of you. Life does throw us unexpected turns and twists but your attitude will always be the thing that gets you through in life. You have always been a light in the darkness and you are an inspiration to many women around you. I still have rolls and well big boobs but my priority is like your right now “survival” and that is what strong women do in times like these. You are my best friend and the strength you encompass will get you through anything adverse. Proud of you!!!!you skinny ______!
Kathryn
November 3, 2009
So articulate! I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. Life definitely has it’s ups and downs, but as women sometimes we forget that “we” have a life to live. That we are people. I love that you found yourself to be good company at the beach. (I have always found that to be true about you! I miss you) With the expectations we put on ourselves we think we should always appear to be perfect, happy, strong, more…But the truth is we can be happy and whole without someone elses affirmation. I am so proud of you sharing with everyone your discoveries of wholeness and of course so like you, inspiring women, people,to live!
Fairy Godmother
November 3, 2009